I couldn't agree more with your sentiments. Over the course of the past year I have been learning how to operate computers and have discovered that surnames, online at least, seem to be a thing of the past. Sadly, I fear we might be fighting a losing battle, although I hope one day fashions might change.

To counter the probem I sometimes find myself telling a white lie and say to new aqauaintances, "Actually I am not particularly fond of my first name. You wouldn't mind calling me Mr Robertson like all my best friends, would you?"

It's perhaps a little bit softer than just telling someone what you would prefer be called. Usually it works reasonably well although it's not ideal if the new acquaintance shares the same name!  Also do be warned that once in a while they will ask why you don't like your first name. I usually say because it always reminds me of a very mean school master with the same name.

This is a tricky question and one I would like to know the answer to myself! So I had Wanda (my PA) put in some calls to my favourite chefs and caterers to find out. Unfortunately it seems no-one can agree precisely on what a relish is, and chutney seems to be a contentious subject too! Boiling it all down, so to speak (forgive me dear, but I am famous for my witty puns!) it would seem a relish is made of vegetables, usually pickled, and served as a condiment. A chutney is, of course, similar but made of predominantly fruit with the addition of a lot of sugar. Both can be spicy. Some of those we questioned also said there was a difference in consistency - chutneys are smoother and thicker (like jam) while relishes are chunky and crunchy. Another point is that chutneys are usually made fresh for a particular occasion and do not have a shelf life, whereas relishes - being pickles - can keep. I do hope this has given you some food for thought (ha ha, that wit again!)